There are strange noises outside. I look out my window to investigate. There’s a lady across the street with a leaf blower. What on earth is she doing in the middle of the night with a leaf blower? She’s dressed in a nice cardigan sweater and a nice looking skirt, but she’s missing her shoes. It’s freezing cold outside. Why on earth would she be out there without any shoes? She starts doing a crazy dance. I shall call it “The Dance of the Leaf Lady.” She’s half dancing, half running, back and forth across the porch with her leaf blower. Stirring up dust and leaves and whatever else is in the hedges while dancing back and forth.
The leaf lady dance on the porch has ended and the lady ventures out into the yard. She’s still welding the leaf blower, but we’ve progressed from “The Dance of the Leaf Lady” to frantic, almost crazed, dashing back and forth and circling. Matters are made worse by that mischievous leaf blower continuously unplugging himself from the outlet. Leaf Lady looks so perplexed each time it happens and precariously steps back onto the porch and attempts to stay standing upright while plugging the leaf blower back in. This causes her to wrap the cord around the tree several times and causes her some confusion when the cord has mysteriously shortened and she must battle the tree to get it back. After fighting with the tree and having a short boxing match with the now tangled and knotted cord, the Leaf Lady tackles the hard task of the night. She must clear the lawn, driveway, and parking lot of ALL evil leaves. There cannot be a single leaf left roaming free. Unfortunately for her, she’s has been tricked, there are NO leaves on her lawn, driveway, or even in the parking lot. She will not be swayed from her mission. She will conquer the leaves. She begins a thorough sweep of the lawn and driveway. She’s diligent in her task and even does a sweep under her car as well as the car in the neighboring driveway.
The Leaf Lady is a determined one. She has cleared the immediate area of all leaves. Now she must undertake the task of patrolling the parking lot. She must keep all ne’er-do-wells at bay. She circles to the right. She circles to the left. She checks the cars. She checks her driveway and lawn again. I think we might be safe. I think I might sleep safely thru the night now. But wait, my knight in shining armor has put down her sword and retreated back to her castle. I wait, time temporarily suspended. I breathe a deep sigh of relief when the Leaf Lady reappears. She has a bouquet of flowers in her hand. Not only has she kept me safe throughout the night, she has brought me a token of her love. She lays the bouquet on my doorstep and quietly retreats. I am safe. I am loved. I can sleep tonight.